MEGA Setback.

I was twelve years old, and the teachers decided to combine gym classes. Instead of thirty sixth-graders running around, playing a chaotic game of "Capture the Flag," there were sixty. Naturally, this would be the day I would end up on the gym floor screaming bloody murder.

Let me explain:

As the doctors would say, I have "sloppy knees." Most people's kneecaps sit comfortably in a deep groove, and never go anywhere. My groove is shallow and misshapen. My kneecaps like to move around.

We didn't know this until that fateful game of "Capture the Flag." As I sprinted to the opponents' side, I felt something in my knee go wonky, there was a jerking sensation...then I felt pain--excruciating pain--pain unmatched by anything I'd ever experienced. (If you've had the misfortune of dislocating a knee cap, you know what I'm talking about). 

I laid on the gym floor, looked down at my distorted knee, and screamed. I didn't know what had happened--I only knew that something was terribly wrong. I remember my gym teacher rushing up, telling me it looked like I dislocated my knee cap. She said I was so brave for not crying (I started sobbing, the moment the words left her mouth). And I remember everyone staring. They stared the whole fifteen minutes it took for the ambulance to come. They stared as I sobbed while the EMTs rolled me onto a towel, lifted me onto a stretcher and pushed the stretcher out of the gym. And they stared when I came into school on crutches the next day. I spent three hours being pumped full of pain medication (even only slightly coherent, I screamed at anyone who tried to touch me). Just as I've never felt as much pain in my life, I've never felt so much relief as when they re-located my knee.When my mom recalls the story she always mentions how all the color flooded back into my face and I broke into a fit of giggles.

Now, I know I'm making this sound terribly traumatic, and I understand that the situation could've been far worse, but I was beyond embarrassed. (I was only twelve and this was a very juicy story in my small town junior high..."Did you hear what happened to Siri in gym today? ...I hear someone pushed her (NOT true)...").  And, as I've said, I've never experienced a pain so intense. 

There's really not anything the doctors can do to fix my knees--a few elective surgeries, perhaps, but no sure fixes--nothing they can do to change the structure my knees. I'm also known to involuntarily smack anyone that touches my knees. I'm thrown into a state of panic at the thought of visiting the doctor and knowing he will have to examine them. Yikes. All of it makes me such a mess. 

This is a post I sincerely hoped I would never have to make. I've been having these issues with my knees for the past seven years. (With two complete dislocations and three partial). My knees are largely to blame for the "non-athelte" label I've given myself. I've hurt myself running, walking down stairs, and shimmying while hiking up my pants. Naturally, I avoided situations where I might throw a knee out. 

When I started running a few months ago and made plans to run the half marathon in February, it had been a year and a half since I had knee troubles. After limiting myself for years, I was ready to push myself physically, I was ready to make myself an athlete. I was naive to think running would be totally safe or that I wasn't setting myself up for injury. I was naive to believe that my knees were fine. They're not.

Yesterday, I was cleaning the kitchen when I slipped on a puddle of water. There was no writhing around in pain. There was no ambulance. I haven't even seen the doctor yet. As I slipped, I felt the oh-so-framilar jerk in my knee, I heard the snap, I felt the pain. But it only lasted a moment! Out and back in! Just another partial dislocation (thank God)! I just sat on the floor a cried for a bit because it hurt and I was alone and scared. I dragged myself across the room to the phone to let my dad know what had happened. He said he'd come home right away and I scooted to the living room and cried some more because it occurred to me that this meant I probably couldn't run and I would probably never be an athlete and I would probably have to deal with this for the rest of my life. Boo. 

Today, I'm feeling better. My knee is not throbbing, it's just rather sore and swollen. And I've shaken my defeatist attitude (at least a little). I know that my recovery is going to take awhile. I'll probably be in a brace for the next two weeks, and I'll have to ease my way back into exercise. I really don't know if I'm going to be able to run. I have no clue if I'm going to be able to do the half. But I'm not ready to be heartbroken yet. I've come a long way in the last year, and even the last few months and I won't stop my journey that easily. I will visit the doctor and talk surgeries, custom braces, whatever I can do to make this thing happen! I'm so sick of being limited by this. It. Just. Sucks. If we can figure out a solution, I'm going to do it--even if (heaven forbid) someone has to touch my knees. 

(A quick side-note: Obviously, if the doctor thinks that running is ill-advised, I'll have to find something else--for now, I can only hope and pray for the best! I realize, though, that I ultimately have to do what it best for my health). 

Picking My Princess!

Last week, I went to the newly renovated Disney Store at the Mall of America. It was beautiful--far more magical than the sterile, cold old store, and, most importantly, it had that Disney charm. I know I am going to sound like such a nerd, but just visiting the Disney Store has me singing Disney songs and just wanting to play dress up all day! I think it's partly (or mostly) to blame for my sudden obsession with trying to pick a princess for the half marathon. Ahhhh!!! February come now! Please!

                                                              Disney Store Excitement!

I've spent weeks trying to decide which princess I'm going to be for the half! And I just can't figure it out. You see, Belle has always been my favorite princess--she's imaginative, takes control of her life and is really the hero of the story (I mean, the woman sacrifices herself to save her father!). But a year ago a new princess came into my life--a spunky, adventurous, funny blonde beauty--and now I am torn.

I keep going back and forth between the two. I've come to the conclusion that Rapunzel has the prettiest dresses--the purple would be easier and prettier for a running dress than Belle's yellow/gold number. (I even found a beautiful Rapunzel dress for inspiration on www.sparkleskirts.com)! The nostalgia of Beauty and Beast keeps drawing me back to Belle, though. So...I...don't...know...

Belle or Rapunzel? That is the big question. Of course, I have a few months to figure it out, and  I should probably stretch out the decision making process to stay excited. But I just want to know now! I want to start working on my costume, and figure out how I might do my hair, and yady-yady-yady-yady-ya!

What are your plans for the half? Are you dressing up for the race? Who are you dressing up as? Are you planning on making your own costume?

Uffda!

Boy, am I tired. I took a little road trip with a couple friends on Monday and got back late last night. One of these friends is on a bit of a health kick lately, and she basically acted as my personal trainer! We went for a run Monday night (one of my best runs so far!), did Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred on Tuesday and danced around the living to the oldies on Wednesday. Overall a good few days.

A pitfall of the road trip is the road trip diet. Fast food, large meals, and lots of pop. Luckily, we stayed with a friend and were able to have a few home-cooked meals. At every sit-down meal, my healthy-crazed (I say it with love) friend and I vied to split an entree. For every ounce of soda or coffee I drank, I tried to drink two ounces of water. We were so busy with different things that we didn't have many opportunities to snack. So overall, I don't feel as though my diet was ruined, or my training was thrown off.

A perk of the road trip--shopping! This trip was especially exciting because I have dropped two jean sizes and one shirt size since I last went shopping (yay)! There's really nothing quite like pulling something off the rack, thinking it won't work on you, and having it fit like a glove! My shopping experience usually consists of falling madly in love with something on the hanger only only to have it stuck on my love-handles when I try it on. It usually leads to disappointment.

Anyway, the trip was fun. But now I'm exhausted. I'll go for a run today, then taking a nap and just hanging out. And tomorrow, another road trip! hmm...Maybe I'll take the nap first...

5K!

I've spent a good day thinking about how to start this post, and I haven't come up with anything terribly interesting. I'll just give you a summary of what went down. I woke up in the morning to see my family off to work and school. They left around 8, and I crashed on the couch....until 11. Yeah. Normally I would fell so guilty for sleeping all morning. My body really needed the sleep, so I have no regrets. After all, if I was going to run later, I needed to be well rested! 

The weather was crazy on Friday (like mid-July crazy). When I left home, the temperature was 97 degrees F! That's pretty outrageous for May in Minnesota. I was already quite nervous for the race and the weather wasn't easing my anxiety. I guzzled water all day, and had two high-carb meals. In the afternoon, I grabbed a Diet Coke and met up with my family to leave for the race. The hour long drive went by surprisingly fast. We arrived at the Dome, got our bibs, tracking chips, t-shirts and backpacks and used the bathroom (three or four times--just to be sure). The Dome was packed. There were swarms of really athletic looking people, and others that looked more like me--people that clearly didn't have as much experience. I overheard people say that this was their first race, and others say that they were registered for the 5k on Friday and the Marathon on Saturday. We had an hour to kill, so we roamed the Dome and got some free goodies (vitamins, FRS energy chews, energy bars, all natural lotion, etc.). By six, my mom and I headed out to the line-up. The race was split into two major sections: runners and walkers. The runners lineup was split again into three groups. Those with an expected time of 25-35 minutes were toward the front, then those 35-45 and finally 45-50 minutes at the back. We kept to the back with the slower runners.

We were packed pretty tightly for a little over a half an hour. The race was not started with a gun shot or a buzzer. A quick prayer was said, Oh, Canada! and the Star Spangled Banner were sung, and the lineup slowly started to move. We started off strong...for about a quarter mile. We slowed down to a power-walk and tried running a few more times until I thought I was going to pass out. I just couldn't do it. I haven't felt that light-headed since high school marching band (where I would sport a thick uniform, hat, gloves, bass drum and walk in hot July weather). People passed us, ran in between us, and a few shouted encouraging words as they passed. The encouragement was nice and the general vibe of the event was really positive. But, I can't lie, I was embarrassed. But it was a good learning experience, and I did cross the finish line.

Pre-Race Smiles

Shoe Tracker Chips

A few lessons I learned:

-I need running underwear (or shorts with underwear attached). Five steps into the run, I had the biggest wedgie of my life! It was sooo uncomfortable. And, it's super awkward pulling out a wedgie, a) As you are running, and, b) in front of a large crowd of people. So that needs to be figured out soon!

-I need to eat! I finished lunch around 2 in the afternoon and didn't eat anything else until after the race. Not smart. I know, I know, it seems really obvious that you'd want to eat something beforehand, but I was so focused on staying hydrated and so busy getting ready that it just slipped my mind. This really needs to be a higher priority.

-I need to train--I mean really train! Let's be real--I haven't been consistent in my training at all. If I had followed my program strictly, I should've been running a 5k rather easily two weeks ago. If I had followed my program, I probably wouldn't've found myself ready to pass out after a quarter mile. And I wouldn't have to suffer the embarrassment of having to walk.

I learned a lot. And, yeah, it was kind of a rude awakening. I'm really not as fit or ready for this as I thought. But that's okay because now I know what step I have to take next! I know that I have a longgggg way to go. And despite the dizziness and embarrassment, the event was fun. Everyone was really happy to be there, and the positive energy was infectious. Not to mention, I got to spend the day with my mom! This is the just the first of many races we'll do together! It'll take a lot of effort to get there, but I am really excited about our next race! 

We Finished! No injuries, no fainting or puking--a successful day! 

Our first (of many) medals. ;)

New Shoes, New Plans, New Beginnings!

 So, clearly I've had some issues with blogging...and running... I'm sick of making up excuses for my lack of motivation, and you may be really sick of hearing them. So none of that! I have the time to do this, and I'm going to!

I've been watching videos of people crossing the finish line of past Princess Marathons, looking at costumes, gathering ideas and of course, I have my handy dandy new running shoes!

It's been nearly three weeks since we went shopping, but I said I would tell you the story, so here it is!

My mom picked me up at my apartment, and we set off to the running store. My stomach was in knots as I thought about having to run in front of a runner--maybe a whole store full of runners. Yikes! Running in our neighborhood is embarrassing enough sometimes. (A quick confession: Sometimes, when I see a car coming down the road, I pick up my feet, raise my elbows and force myself to run faster). I'm self conscious in front of the soccer mom and her kids--imagine how terrified the prospect of running in front of seasoned runners made me. Yeah, I was nervous. We were greeted by a chipper young woman, who was eager to help us. There was no treadmill-machine-thingy. Instead, we were instructed to walk barefoot down one of the aisles and do a couple of one-legged squats.

And, hallelujah, that was it!

No embarrassing running!!

I learned that I have the tendency to supinate as I run/walk (my feet rolled out). Actually, on my first squat, I completely lost my balance and fell over. So, yes, I supinate. Our expert directed me toward shoes that would work well for me and I tried a pair of neon-pink Nikes and some subtly cute New Balances. The New Balance shoes fit like a glove, so that the pair I went with!

It would be a lie to say that running has been a dream since I've gotten these shoes (running's hard!)--but it's been better! They are extremely comfortable, and it's nice to know that my shoes aren't setting me up for injury.

Another great motivator: My first 5k! It's tomorrow already! Wow! My mom and I signed up for the run/walk trail, so it should be a pretty chill event. I'm shooting to run about half of it. Maybe I'll split it up into 1 minute walk run intervals, to make things a little easier. The 5k is apart of the Fargo Marathon weekend (one of the larger running events in our area). It's my first "race." I've decided to not worry too much about hitting a certain time. Instead, I'm just going to soak things up and enjoy myself!

We've started to lay out a summer schedule of races we may want to do. My mom and I are going to try to do another 5k in July and a 10k in August. There are also quite a few events in the fall for us! I think these more immediate goals will give me a stronger sense of motivation. When a race is only a few weeks away, then gosh darn it, you've got to start training now!

Summer is SO CLOSE. (So Close).

The end is in sight! I only have one more final left and a few days left of work and then it's SUMMER!

Between work and school, I haven't done any running. None. When I've had the time, I've lacked the motivation. But my mother and I have a fun day planned! We are going shoe shopping! Running shoe shopping!

There's a store in town that has a special treadmill-like machine that records your stride, the way your foot falls, your posture and all these other variables and then matches you up with the perfect shoe! And, of course, we all know the importance of a good pair of running shoes. My mom and I both have some knee issues and we're hoping that finding the right shoe will make running more comfortable and make injury less likely.

I'm thinking this will be just the motivation I need to (re)jump-start my training. Now, I've got fifteen minutes to get ready! I'll let you know how everything goes!

Yowza!

Wow! Nearly a week since I've logged on, and a week since I've actually posted anything. Not good. I'm in the crazy preparation mode for finals, and I won't be out for another week and a half.

I haven't run in a week, but I have tonight off so I'll be sure to get out today! I promise, promise, promise as soon as schools out, I'll post more. And now, I must get back to Stats! Have a wonderful day! Keep running!